Recently, an email from Harvard Business Review landed in my inbox with the headline:
“People won’t take risks on a team they don’t trust.”
It’s hardly a surprising statement. Pick up almost any book or article on leadership, teamwork or high-performing organisations and you’ll find one word appearing again and again.
TRUST.
It’s described as the cornerstone of psychological safety. The foundation of innovation. The key to collaboration. The ingredient that allows teams to perform at their best.
And it’s all true.
Without trust, people don’t speak up. They don’t share ideas. They don’t challenge poor decisions. They don’t ask for help. They don’t take risks.
The problem is that whilst we spend a huge amount of time talking about why trust matters, we spend remarkably little time talking about how to build it.
For many people, that’s where the real challenge begins.
Perhaps you’re new to an organisation. Perhaps you work remotely. Perhaps you’re naturally quieter than those around you. Perhaps you’re an introvert. Perhaps you’re in the minority within your team or organisation. Or perhaps you simply don’t feel you naturally fit the mould.
Whatever the reason, building trust can feel harder when you’re on the outside looking in.
Yet trust rarely appears overnight. It’s built through hundreds of small interactions. One conversation at a time. One meeting at a time. One promise kept at a time.
That’s why, in a recent Elevate session, we introduced what we call the Traffic Lights Framework: Know Me. Like Me. Trust Me. It has become one of my favourite ways of helping current and future leaders build stronger relationships and, ultimately, trust.
It’s a simple framework, but one we’ve found incredibly powerful.
🚦 Step 1: Know Me
Every relationship starts with understanding.
So begin by asking yourself two questions:
What do I know about them?
And what do they know about me?
Most of us are quite good at one of these. Some people ask lots of questions but reveal very little about themselves. Others do all the talking but never really get to know anyone else.
Neither builds strong relationships.
Trust starts when both people begin to understand each other. Not just what they do, but what matters to them. Their interests. Their experiences. Their motivations.
The more opportunities we create to genuinely know other people – while also giving them the opportunity to genuinely know us – the stronger the foundations become.
🚦 Step 2: Like Me
The second step isn’t about becoming popular.
It’s about discovering common ground. Shared experiences. Shared interests. Shared goals.
Research consistently shows that we’re naturally drawn to people who feel familiar.
When we discover what we have in common, conversations become easier. Collaboration becomes easier. Relationships become stronger.
🚦 Step 3: Trust Me
Trust grows when people know you. It grows stronger when they discover what you have in common.
But it lasts because of one thing.
Consistency.
Do you do what you say you’ll do?
Can people rely on you?
Do your actions consistently match your words?
Every time the answer is “yes”, you’re making another deposit into what Stephen Covey called the Emotional Bank Account.
Those deposits matter. Because when people trust you, everything changes. Ideas are shared more freely. Feedback is welcomed. People ask for your opinion. Collaboration improves. People become willing to take risks together.
Exactly the outcome that Harvard Business Review was describing. That’s why I like the Traffic Lights Framework so much.
It doesn’t simply tell us that trust matters. It gives us a practical way to build it. One conversation. One relationship. One small interaction at a time.
Because trust isn’t built by accident.
It’s built intentionally.
And that may be one of the most valuable leadership skills of all.